Wednesday, February 20, 2013

day 3: i didn't think it was possible

Well, it happened. I didn't think it could happen so quickly... but it did. I failed. I failed literally every single challenge that I had for myself yesterday. I think it would actually be fair to say that I failed at yesterday.

It started off on a great path: I had oatmeal for breakfast. After that around 1pm I had a banana that my good friend Erin gave to me. She's my Barca Bestie and I bullied her into letting me eat her banana instead of her apple because it would be more filling. She is either really scared of me or loves me a lot. I think it's that she loves me.

 I had a salad for lunch with no olive oil, a little feta, a little hummous (i know this has oil but you have to have some substance and it wasn't the creamy kind!), tomatoes and cucumber. Later, I had a café con leche and fought all urges to eat anything from the café because it was all greasy.

This is where I went wrong: I divulged into past histories whilst sitting in the café drinking my coffee. Before I knew it-- my cup was empty. An empty cup combined with stories of your past broken hearts can only ever really turn into 2 things: a sad night crying at home alone or a fun night drinking wine with your BB(barcabestie). Naturally, I chose the second one. I love fun things. (Honestly, I'm sure there are other options for what that night could have turned into but in my completely illogical head at the time there really wasn't.)

We went to a place called Flautas where suddenly my only concern was that whatever we ordered was vegetarian and not deep fried. When we saw "alcachofas laminadas" and "alcachofas fritas" we assumed that one of them had to be not fried, so we chose the one that didn't mean "fried artichokes". Well, they were probably the same thing. Actually, I'm scared to see how much more fried the alcachofas fritas were. And that is when I hit glass number 3 and called it quits. I ate the stupid artichoke chips.

I didn't stop there, though. You better believe we moved our-drunk-selves up the block to a hummus place and ate some hummus, tsatziki, babaghanoush, and falafel. These were all, of course, served with pita and another bottle of wine. I didn't partake in the bottle of wine, as I don't think I would've made it home.

I was able to eat some gelato before heading all the way back home though. Also, did I mention I didn't exercise? Can you even believe this blog post is so long and filled with nothing but failure? It's shameful.

So, here I am eating my oatmeal, feeling like crap, looking pretty much the same as I feel, and thinking to myself: Will you ever stop? Seriously, will you ever stop doing that to yourself?

I am going to make a conscious decision today to not allow my lesser-self take over. And I will repeat my challenges from yesterday. Naturally, my challenge of the week (to only drink once) is still on as long as I don't drink this week. I am nervous though. I may not make it.

This week has become a lesson, unfortunately. A lesson that this is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

1 comment:

  1. You know what to do Sierra and you will do it. If you eat REAL FOOD and avoid sucker foods likeoil, sugar, cheese, etc. you will never be hungry and will lose weight. I have finally learned that drinking leads to bad eating, so you are 35 years ahead of me. Just be your best self everyday and take it one day at a time. Don't try to be perfect, just be sensible.

    ReplyDelete